Practicing Self-Awareness in Parenthood
Understanding Self-Awareness
Within our intricate and often complicated human experience, practicing self-awareness is crucial to both our relationships and our own personal growth. According to Forbes, self-awareness is the knowledge of your character, feelings, motives, and desires. It’s knowing your strengths and your weaknesses and using the knowledge of yourself to build better relationships, make connections, make better decisions, have more self-discipline, and help you understand where in your life you need to grow.
As parents, we often experience moments of self-awareness when we hear our children repeating things we say or do. When my oldest daughter was about 3 or 4 years old, I started hearing her say phrases that made me wonder about their origin. Several days later, I’d hear myself saying the exact same phrase. Those “aha” moments we receive from our children are invaluable to helping us gain insight and awareness of our words, actions, expressions, and mannerisms. These moments are powerful because we finally grasp the ultimate responsibility of our influence on the next generation.
The Importance of Practicing Self-Awareness as a Parent
Self-awareness is essential for everyone because we become better connectors and communicators when we realize how we interact with those around us. Our interactions are intensified within our own families, especially with our children.
On a much larger scale, as children grow up, they begin to emulate our character, values, and feelings, too. Children imitate how we react to conflict, frustration, and challenges, which can be modeled in a healthy way or, all too often, in an unhealthy way. Ultimately, we want to teach our children to cope with the inevitable stress and frustrations of life.
As our children navigate the complexities of life, they look to us for guidance, drawing on the behaviors and attitudes that we have modeled for them. As parents, our capacity for self-awareness directly impacts their emotional intelligence and resilience. The best way to show them how to handle conflict and challenges is to lead them by example. They are watching our every move.
In the past, I’ve certainly fallen short of showing my children the best way to react to frustration. Fairly recently, I noticed my children sighing audibly when they’re frustrated with something. At first, I found it puzzling. How did they develop that habit? And then, I started to pay attention to my own reactions. I often audibly sigh when I’m frustrated, particularly with someone, such as my children. Now that I’m aware, I have the responsibility to change it before it becomes too deeply rooted in my children.
Ultimately, we as parents have to be willing to change and grow from our experience of raising our children. We have to be willing to look in the mirror and face our flaws so we can lead our children to be the best humans they can be. The future depends on it.
Strategies for Building Self-Awareness
- Practice Mindfulness: Work to be fully present and in the moment by observing your thoughts, emotions, and what is happening in your body. Be curious and try not to judge your reactions. Notice the triggers that provoke tension and explore different responses.
- Seek Feedback: Ask for honest feedback from your friends and your family. This can be a difficult step but is incredibly valuable. Their insights can help you see blind spots on your journey to personal growth.
- Identify Triggers: Reflect on what provokes you. Are you most triggered when you are tired, stressed, or hungry? By pinpointing your triggers, you can work on them and build resilience.
- Define Your Values: Work toward finding your own set of values. Becoming aware of your values will reveal a lot about what’s important to you. Your values can serve as moral compasses, informing your decisions and actions as a parent and helping you understand who you are and what’s most important to you.
- Embrace Growth: Choose a part of your character you would like to improve, whether it’s patience, empathy, compassion, or kindness. Envision individuals who embody these qualities and strive to emulate their behavior in your daily interactions.
Although the journey toward self-awareness may be slow and difficult, its rewards are endless. By nurturing self-awareness within ourselves, we not only enrich our own lives but also empower our children to navigate the complexities of life. With time and attention, we can become the best versions of ourselves, not only for ourselves, but also for our friends, families, children, and future generations.